


My smelly man with a small surprise

by Poorjimmy



Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: Crack, Don't Read This, Mpreg, Other, Self-Harm, i wrote this at 3am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 10:39:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poorjimmy/pseuds/Poorjimmy
Summary: James has an unexpected surprise.





	My smelly man with a small surprise

It was a beautiful day in sunny LA. The birds were plotting their evil plans and the refreshing smell of vape filled the sugar pine office air. Perfect. 

In amongst the mystical smoke lay two baby boys. One malnourished spaghetti strand and the other a raccoon hibernating in a foreskin suit.   
"I love you bro" said Cib as he embraced and finger blasted his blessed friend.  
"I love you too bro" Steve reciprocated the affection.  
"Your skin is so soft. Like milky, bro." Said Kid on the cob as he kissed his bro's gross alien hand that had every finger broken in three different places.  
"Thanks bro. U wanna softly stroke it while you gently hold me, bro?"  
"I'd love to bro."   
"Can I blow you vape kisses as we watch the office on Netflixs bro?"  
"Of course Bro"

But just as they were about to have a sweet ol bro time, a third bro burst through the door. He burst like your creepy uncle when he catches a glimpse of your feet. Or that homeless guy that stole my lizard collection. The homeless guy that eats all the dust on the carpet that I was saving for later. That bastard that stole my father. I'll have revenge one day. But It was James that had burst!   
"It's happening" he shouted. Neither Steb nor Can knew what Jam was talking about. They looked on in confusion as Jims began to cry the tears of the three blind mice.   
"What's yankin ya cok eggs bunti? Clit asked.  
James looked at him. A single tear rolled down his bitch of a face.   
"It's in me" he sighed.  
"Have you tried the plunger technique?" Sev asked  
"No!" James screeched  
"I'm pregnant" 

Silence filled the room. Wait no his is real.mp3  
"Congratulations" said a familiar voice. It was famous doctor Ninky Minjaj. The comment came to the shock of everyone in the room as there was no body attached to the voice in sight.   
Chub kicked a small box that was in the corner of the room. A small shriek emitted from the box as if a dog had been run over.  
"I didn't say you could speak BOY" Cib shouted at the box. No one really gave a shit tho. Jamie cried and begged to be let out to no avail.  
"So who's the dad?" Teebin asked.   
"Idk man" jem replied   
"It's probably mine because my ass is good for fucking! Steve's on the other hand. Just bad. It's Delicious for eating but it fucks like a crippled rice cracker" Claybin proposed.  
"Well shit man what do?" Japanese asked.  
"DOES ANYONE HAVE A COATHANGER?" Steeb yelled at the wall.   
No one replied because no gives a tiny singular microfuck.   
"No wait maybe I should keep it." Jakem said as he ran his hands through his grease.   
"Well it is free labour" steev considered. He smoked some crack.  
Suddenly Sip has the brilliant idea to ask the Internet what to do. Who better to trust than unreliable strangers online? They all clambered to the computer like starving war victims. Cup closed the 1000 browsers he had open one by one. They sat in silence for 5 days. 'How to know if Michael Jackson is watching me from hell' the next one read 'how to defend against the fork' and 'just pictures of Danny Devito's foreskin' etc.

Eventually they had closed all the browsers and asked the internet 'what do?'. They received a response that read 'sir, this is a suicide prevention hotline.' It was obviously no help and the boys felt defeated after tying multiple times. Suddenly James' water doth brokith. Water flowed out of his bussy like the Nile. Something slipped out of him like a homophobic slur and a beautiful child lay dormant.   
"What the fuck I don't remember fucking a black guy" Jaim yelled, surprised. The baby appeared to be dark skinned. It lay dormant on the ground. 

Cum expose his titt y and feed it. Desu

Orjazm began to have an existential crisis because he feared giving up his life to be a father. He made an uwu sound and locked himself in the office bathroom. Septum and chip followed him and banged on the door.   
"Germ come out and face your responsibility" they screamed. He was crying now. Crying and shitting. And cutting. He was shitting his wrists he was so sad. And did I mention the dark lord was there? Crying emoji. He blasted mr brightside on repeat. It took hours before anyone could convince him to come out of the bathroom. When he did he was a new man.   
"Rawr:3" he said with his hair covering one eye. He was so depressed that he had become goth. Stew vomited in his mouth. They returned back to the office. And noticed the baby was still lying unresponsive on the ground. Wtf it's ded. Just then papa Bruce came in. He yelled at them for the giant shit in the ground. Everyone started to laugh. It was only a shit entir e time??? Haha wow that's crazy hahaha the end. Help.


End file.
